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Everything posted by NoblyBobly

  1. Taking The Pee Out Of Liverpool (For Khobar)

    I see old Jamie 'Gobby' Carragher is being sneeked back into Sky as a co commentator.... gently gently catchy monkey. Don't know why but this clip from the very very funny Lee Mac brought him to the forfront of my mind!
  2. Transfer Talk Topic

    In a way those clips almost flattered him. Shocking doesn't cover it last season. Getting him a loan deal was singularly the most brilliant bit of behind the scenes manoeuvring I have ever seen. And to Milan!!! I'd say most of the time he is league One level and sometimes possibly lower.
  3. Transfer Talk Topic

    Lovin that Mark.... that phrasing works fine....this time next year we'll be millionaires!
  4. Transfer Talk Topic

    I can't help myself....Mrs Nobly thinks I've been doing my tax returns.SSSH
  5. Transfer Talk Topic

    Ok Ham, so I’ve pondering on our Copacabana song for Thibault and I’ve come up with a few ideas. But if we want to make this a mega hit we also need to think about the video because that’s what will send the song viral. So picture the scene. We are in a small bar nightclub anywhere in the world…could be Madrid, could be Battersea, but that’s not important. It’s all shot in black and white (think Michael Jackson Smooth Criminal vid to get the vibe). A dozen small candlelit tables are just visible through the smoke and the gloom. On the small stage are a mariachi band playing the unmistakeable intro to Barry Manillo’s ‘Copacabana’. Suddenly a spotlight falls on one of the tables. Who does it light up? It’s only Thibault Courtois out for a drink with one of his kids!..... no hang on….that’s not his kid, it’s his 18 year old dog sitter (easy mistake, it’s gloomy in there). Now permit me to divert for a moment, but how lucky a chap is Thibault? Not only is he a multi-millionaire sportsman but just when his marriage got a bit shaky, a dog sitter arrived at the house looking like she just walked off the pages of Loaded Magazine! I mean fancy getting a bit of totty like that to look after your poodle for the minimum wage when you’ve just fallen out of love with your pregnant wife!! Or….alternatively…did me meet her down China Whites and get her to apply for the job of dog sitter and then fix her up in the spare room so she was available 24/7 for “dog sitting”? Anyway, that’s my imagination running away with me again, and I’m not questioning in any way Thibault’s loyalty, honesty or qualities as a man. Now back to the video. One of the band members moves towards the mic and starts to sing the first verse to Copacabana. “His name was Courtois, we thought he’d go far Had his shorts cut down to there, with too much Brylcream in his hair He signed for Chelsea, the super Chelsea But he acted like a kid, said ‘I’m off to Real Madrid’ And then the punches flew Contracts were torn in two Wrote a love note to the fans but they said… “Fck You” (CHORUS) Coz we’re the Chelsea, the super Chelsea Why don’t you piss off somewhere elsey (poetic licence)? We are Chelsea, the super Chelelelsea He could have got fitter but chose the dog sitter At the Chelseaee…. He lost his mind.... Is that unkind?..... Well I don’t mind.... I can’t get fined"..... (music fades out to clips of the ball flying past him before he could move and also examples of him giving away his record number of penalties for other teams to score against him….coz he’s never saved one). I think we have a potential hit Ham. Like I say, straight 70/30 copyright split between me and you ….luvelyjubly!!
  6. Huddersfield 0 Chelsea 3

    Harry does look small compared to Old Big Nose but size is not everything. Even we wouldn't have blown 71 mill on a dodgy keeper.....
  7. Huddersfield 0 Chelsea 3

    I think you could be right. A wing back needs a massive engine to get up and down the pitch for 90 mins. He also needs that bit of extra speed and turn of pace to get behind their defence and get to the line now and again. Alonso is not really that player although he shows great willing. I think he will be fine in a back four.
  8. Thibaut Courtois Departs

    Do you know what, I can't be bothered to waste any more pixels on this man. I am very confident in my own mind that I know him quite well, even though I have never met him. I think I know his motives and his little games. he's a bad egg and an over rated keeper and I'm more than happy that he's not here anymore. I'm fully behind the new chap.
  9. Thibaut Courtois Departs

    Oh they are out there. And if that's a dog sitter, I'm a Chippendale.
  10. Transfer Talk Topic

    Ok I'll get my people to talk to your people. I need to get in the zone first....
  11. Thibaut Courtois Departs

    So how far can the statement go for you? For instance, would you be quite happy if Courtois (under cohesion from another trick question) spouted out something like : " Madrid is a much better football club to play for than Chelsea. We win more, we are paid more and we treat players like Hazard with the respect they are due. I would advise any player at Chelsea who wants to better himself and be near his kids to: 1) Play like you don't want to be there. 2) Show just enough effort to let the big boys know you are still around. 3) Keep your intentions to yourself. Say nothing, then a couple of days before the window closes don't turn up for work and force through the sale to your preferred club for a bargain basement price (hence leaving more money for your wages...hehe!). 4) If you fail to follow the above point and show your intentions too early, the club might buy a good replacement for 18 mill in the January window whereas if they are forced into a corner in August they will have to pay 71 mill for exactly the same player! Do the former and the club also then has the option to let you rot on the bench. 5) Write a lovely letter to the ex fans and club saying how much you adored and appreciated them, but take it down quickly if you get pelters. 6) Point six involves thinking a bit outside the box and it's not for everyone. Get your Madrid based girlfriend up the Duff again, then when she is only two months gone, get very very close to your beautiful 18 year old dog sitter (check that 18 is legal in your country of choice). This will give your heartbroken partner no option but to leave you. She will be in a terrible mess with the baby and all but she will get over it and probably move back to her family in Madrid. This will give you a 22 carrot reason for moving back to Madrid at some future point with the purpose of seeing your kids when the lawers allow . Sorted" Ok point 6 may be a bit tough and perhaps not exactly how things happened (lives are complicated) but your post rather tricked me into writing it.
  12. Transfer Talk Topic

    Ok I'll finish it. 60/40 split yea?
  13. Transfer Talk Topic

    Oh stop teasing you little tinker!!
  14. Transfer Talk Topic

    Very pertinent questions Jane and for many years I thought the answer was that everyone (that mattered) knew better than me. Of course I now realise thats not true and I am indeed the font of all knowledge and wisdom :) You are probably way too young to remember a young brilliant 17 year old keeper called Steve Francis. He was touted by many (inside and outside the club) as not only Chelsea's future but the future for England. He's probably a painter/decorator now.
  15. Thibaut Courtois Departs

    Should I be asking myself that question? Is Courtois not used to dealing with the media? Is he a child? Is the stock football answer not "well Hazard is a great player but he is a Chelsea player so I don't want to talk about it now as it's not my place" or is Courtois so thick that he falls for a trick? Or maybe Hazards kids are moving to Madrid and he knows the lure will be irresistible to him ? Are you happy with Courtois behaviour towards this club because I'm steaming (I'm sure the behaviour towards his children is adorable and admirable)?
  16. Thibaut Courtois Departs

    Already he is saying " I hope Hazard can join this great club one day". That didn't take long did it ratty?
  17. Transfer Talk Topic

    Really? Bats move is a very surprising and disappointing. The one crucial area we are short in is a fox in the box goal scorer. Any injury to Giroud and we are left with Morata.
  18. Thibaut Courtois Departs

    This is a difficult one for me to be objective on because I don't like him, I think he's a liar, I don't rate him much as a keeper and he has a stupid haircut. You see what chance do I have of making a balanced opinion on whether his kids were his main motivation for moving? However.....I do know that he arrived at this club as a great prospect but at the time we had in place one of the finest keepers ever to wear the Chelsea shirt. A true legend who had won everything there was to win at club level and was still at the top of his game (the season before Cech had won the Golden Gloves and the season after he left us he won it again). At a time of upheaval and as an end to a glorious Chelsea era was drawing to a close, Cech presence between our sticks would have been immense. Courtois could have learnt a lot from Cech but he wasn't interested. I strongly suspect that Courtois said "I'm not fighting for my place; if I come back to Chelsea I will only do it as their number one keeper". And that's pretty much what happened. No battle for the shirt, just Cech walking to the subs bench with much dignity. He was given the Carling Cup to play in and even got to the final. However the look on Courtois face at the final whistle was an indication of the anger he felt at not being picked for that final despite it being Cechs only tournament. Nob. 'But not to worry' many would say, 'Courtois is the's worth sacrificing Cech for a keeper who will be here 10 years'. His letter was pathetic. Especially wishing to thank all the players and coaches and technical staff. Yes the ones he couldn't even be bothered to come and say goodbye to because he was effectively on strike. I've no doubt he'll spend his time in Madrid sending Hazard Instagrams and WhatsApps on how fab it is to play for a proper club, and he must try it sometime. I didn't like him when he arrived, I didn't like when he was here and I like him even less now he's gone.He hasn't dropped in my opinion because there's nowhere left to drop. I may be biased but I'm consistent.
  19. Chelsea 0 Lyon 0 (Chelsea win 5-4 on penalties)

    If Luis was truly injured and unable to play for 6 months, then Conte had to make the best of it, although I would argue that without Luiz he should have considered something other than a back 3. If however, Luiz was dropped because of comments he made in the dressing room after the Roma game, Conte wasn't utilising his strengths, he was abandoning them. It was also fairly obvious after a fairly short time, that the replacement for Luiz was not up to it. Conte stuck with it though as if to prove a point , until sadly for us Christenson fell apart at just the wrong time. From the moment Luiz was sidelined we went into a downward spiral.. The irony will now be if Sarri wants to play Luiz but in a back 4! Heavens to Betsy!! For me it seems simple. The best combo for a back three is Dave ,Luiz and Rudiger (we have them at our disposal) The best players we have to play CB in a back four are Rudiger, Cahill, Christenson, Zouma, Ampedu . (we have four of them them at our disposal). I'm no tactical genius but to me, this is stating the bleedin' obvious.
  20. Chelsea 0 Lyon 0 (Chelsea win 5-4 on penalties)

    Absolutely. I'm just making casual conversation on formation really. And if we keep Morata and use him he surely can't play up there on his own? It would have to be with a partner of some sort if we are to learn anything from last season.
  21. Chelsea 0 Lyon 0 (Chelsea win 5-4 on penalties)

    True but is Weds team going to be the one that starts at the weekend anyway? Who are we going to be drilling?
  22. Chelsea 0 Lyon 0 (Chelsea win 5-4 on penalties)

    About the same time as Arsenal fans start holding up "Wenger Back" banners! The point I would personally make about Sarri is that I wasn't and am still not keen on his appointment, I'm not that keen on the man, I'm not that impressed with his CV and I don't know if he can bring home the bacon at this club. He has to win me over and if he does a worse job than Conte, well, he hasn't the excuse that he didn't know what he was coming in to. Conte's formation mistake was dropping/losing Luiz and persisting with a back three containing a promising but nevertheless inexperienced 20 year old in the crucial central role. When it fell apart he just stuck with it putting more square pegs in round holes. I think he tried a back four just once last season and it went rather well as I recall. I am always surprised at how coaches (not just ours) persist with stuff when it clearly isn't working. Look at what happened in season one when he eventually tweaked it.
  23. Chelsea 0 Lyon 0 (Chelsea win 5-4 on penalties)

    Well obvs I'm not telling you it won't work you coz that would be silly ( and this is the first preseason game I've seen). We surely have to give 4-3-3 a good crack but from what I saw on Sunday, we might need a plan B....something Conte didn't have. Maybe with Christenson in a back four with Cahill or Rudy things might look better. We must take into account how little football Luiz has played but he looked a bit like a fish out of water in that formation. Experiment now is what I'm suggesting.
  24. Alvaro Morata.

    Let's see how you feel at the end of this season. Kalou had a decent strike rate I seem to recall. I think that's my point. Was Pato a worse striker than Morata? How would we know...he never played? Striker like Torres, Sheva and Morata were big buys with high expectations . They all failed miserably to deliver what was expected.
  25. Chelsea 0 Lyon 0 (Chelsea win 5-4 on penalties)

    In preseason games I like to see coaches experiment a little bit with other formations. We know Sarri is a 4-3-3 merchant but has he the players to make that work? I'm not so sure. I would play the first half a a 4-3-3 then 25 mins as a 4-4-2 and then maybe 25 mins with 3 at the back seeing as Luis is now fresh and back in the team. He really doesn't look suited to a back 4 but I think he excels in a 3. I'd even go back to the 80s and 90s and try him in a sweeper type role behind a back four. I've never seen us look so flat at the back as we did on Sunday. In a sweeper role the back four would push further up field for Luis to distribute longer balls. The tippytappy thing at the back is something we are not good at but try at every opportunity. City on the other hand often played the ball long and medium long ball with devastating effect. We were lucky not to lose that game by four goals.