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625164   

.A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.

"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded

weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully - - "thank God we can all still drive"

.

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.A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.

"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded

weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully - - "thank God we can all still drive"

.

*Tumbleweed*

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Local police hunting the "knitting needle nutter" who so far has stabbed 6 people in the backside in the last 48 hours believe he may be following a pattern !

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How do you stop a scouser collecting his dole money?

Hide his dole slip in his work boots.

--------------------

What's the difference between North Korea and Liverpool?

One's a communist s**thole with most of the population living in poverty and the other's North Korea.

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A guy was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up,

"I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales ".

"Why do you think that ?" he said.

"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says

"stit ruoy su wohs".

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Just got back from my mates funeral he died after being struck in the face by a tennis ball, it was a lovely service.

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Harvz   

This afternoon I was having a pint with a Welsh mate of mine and the conversation turned to sex, and inevitably, numbers. When I asked him how many he'd shagged he started counting and fell asleep.

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