Droy was my hero

Quick Jokes

536 posts in this topic

Sorry but I never find jokes about people who die very funny to be honest. Not sure who will agree with me but how can people joke about people who die, I mean they do actually have family and friends. Just imagine that person was in you're family and people were doing jokes about them.

No matter what? ;)

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Stevie wonder playing a concert in Japan, he gets to the end of a three hour concert and asks the crowd if they have any requests, yes says a man in the front row, play a jazz chord.

Ok says stevie and does a 15 minute burst of Harlem jazz to a raptuous round of applause, but the man in the front row is still shouting out "no no, do a jazz chord".

I just did replies Stevie, if you can do any better come up here.

So the Japenese gentleman takes to the stage sits down next to Stevie takes the microphone and starts singing...................... A jazz chord to say I ruv you.

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After 20 years of marriage, a couple were lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband bgin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck slowly worked his hand down over her breasts stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her bottock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceededup her inner thigh stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

He said, "I found the remote".

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After 20 years of marriage, a couple were lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband bgin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck slowly worked his hand down over her breasts stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her bottock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceededup her inner thigh stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

He said, "I found the remote".

LOL :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could

relieve your pain if you'd allow me,'she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right.. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man

replied.

He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping

his hands together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked,'How does that feel'?

He replied:

'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

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Sorry............

An Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the ground.

Medic: 'OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.'

Sharon: 'Ok.'

Medic: 'How many fingers am I putting up?'

Sharon: 'Oh my god, I'm paralysed from the waist down!'

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liverpool fc- that is all

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