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The National Trust moving the stones at Avebury in readiness for the clocks going back an hour

avebury.jpg

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Got stuck in traffic behind Arsene Wenger today.

 

15433778_1228643207172572_8247541726819099798_n.jpg

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A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says he needs an hour to check it out. In the meantime the penguin goes across the street to the 7-11 to kill some time and get an ice cream. Penguins love ice cream, but because he's got no hands the poor little guy gets the ice cream all over his beak. So he goes back to the mechanic and the guys tells him, "looks like you blew a seal". The penguin tells him, "no, that's just a little ice cream."

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Rugby Tickets:

 

A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for the Ireland v England rugby match on 18th March. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them that it was going to be on the same afternoon as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

 

 It's at the Registry Office, on Grand Canal Street, at 4.30 p.m. The bride's name is Nicole -- she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, quite pretty and is a really good cook.  She'll be the one in the white dress...

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I wrote a little April fools gag and sent it to the Mail to see if it amused them. They might print it, you never know.

 

EU PLAN TO PENALISE “STUPID” VOTERS

 

A leaked EU document has revealed a crazy plan to marginalise less bright people from the voting process in all EU countries as soon as next year.

 

Following on from the Brexit vote and the election of Donald Trump, EU officials are now apparently terrified that populist thinking primarily from less educated people could bring down the whole European Union in the next round of important elections. An internal EU think tank has come up with an idea which if implemented could cause simpletons everywhere to throw off their dunces hats in disgust!

 

 The plan is to offer a simple IQ test to all voters. Taking it would be entirely optional but those that did and scored higher than 80% would be given two voting papers at the poll booth to fill out how they wish. The 15 minute test would take place in school buildings and community centres the week before an election and the results would be emailed to testers within two days.  

 

Typical questions included in the leaked document as examples would be:

 

What is the capital of Portugal?

What is the name of your Foreign Minister?

What is the worlds second highest mountain?

Multiply 15 x 6 then divide by 9.

Name three of the Telly Tubbies.

 

There would be about a dozen different but similar tests at the centres which would be given out at random. This it is hoped would stop testers revealing the questions and answers to friends who haven’t yet taken the test.  It is even feared that if a British General Election takes place before we leave Europe in 2019, the UK could be forced to offer the “stupid test” to British voters. Scottish leader Nicola Sturgeon refused to comment on whether she would welcome the test before another Scottish referendum on independence but Donald Trump tweeted this morning “we got a lot of smart people in America, in fact some of the greatest smart people in the world…that’s why I’m here!”.

 

However he refused to be drawn on the names of any of the Telly Tubbies when questioned by attractive American Morning TV host April Foulster.     

 

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Sciatika   

I wonder the majority of the electorate in the UK feel about being classified as "ignorant" (and racist) by the minority. To me, that's a very dangerous road to tread.

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1 hour ago, Sciatika said:

I wonder the majority of the electorate in the UK feel about being classified as "ignorant" (and racist) by the minority. To me, that's a very dangerous road to tread.

In one way it was ever thus. It was only a vocal minority who campaigned to get programs like love thy neighbour, the B&W minstrals show  etc banned.

 

On the other hand the remainers over played the racist, bigot, little Englander card too much and it blew up in their face

 

Best comedy moment recently was all those snowflakes crying after Article 50 was invoked :-)

 

 

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49 minutes ago, r.bartlett said:

In one way it was ever thus. It was only a vocal minority who campaigned to get programs like love thy neighbour, the B&W minstrals show  etc banned.

 

On the other hand the remainers over played the racist, bigot, little Englander card too much and it blew up in their face

 

Best comedy moment recently was all those snowflakes crying after Article 50 was invoked :-)

 

 

Your use of the term "snowflake" shows you to either be ignorant or racist, as it happens. Its origins derive from neo-Nazis who used the term to describe the ashes falling from the skies after the ovens had been used at Auschwitz, Belsen etc.

Maybe best not to use it!

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